I hope you are doing fine. I know that, inevitably soon, you will completely forget me – my face, my name, who am I to you and who are the people I am with that I dearly love. I somehow regret the times that I wasn’t with you. Those times I spent away from you to study and work and explore the world. I wish I could have spent more time with you and had fun while you were more agile, while your legs can still let you walk tirelessly anywhere and while your brain still allows you to be filled with happy memories. Yes Ma, I am still your most loved youngest son who, at 31, still misses you and longs for your most comforting warm hugs specially at those times that I was feeling really down and low. I tried to look up at people on my immediate surrounding for some motherly figure but the truth is, none of them equates to your most genuine care, support and understanding.
Ma, your obvious wrinkles, your sagging skin, your deep tired eyes, your mixed layers of hair colors to cover up those silvery gray hair – all these proved how cruel life can get as early as 70, and with your worsening shaking weak knees sufferring from osteoarthritis, I feel it has shattered everything that you had simply given up on life just like that. I wished you could have been much more stronger just like how you have raised me to be, or at least you mind was. I wanted to cry. I wanted to shout. I feel apalled, amazed at the same time, sad and helpless at how you can share the same happy life event of yours repeatedly in a day, even in an hour. When you get agitated when you hear loud angry voices, oh Ma, I wish I could stay there beside you and remind you constantly how beautiful you were in those days at your wedding picture.
Ma, it might be too late now but I wish you all the hapiness in this world. You may not be able to remember piece by piece now but I pray that you will live your days with only the happiest memories. May God strengthen you always and give you the best of health if your memory can no longer be restored. Just live your life well Ma. Though we are oceans apart physically, and the barrier between us is more than the gaps I can ever imagine in this universe even when when the fact is we are only an inch away, we are forever connected through our hearts.
I am singing this for you Ma,
“Mama, I miss the days when you were here beside me
Mama, those happy days when you were here to guide me
Safe in the flow of your love
Sent from the heavens above
No one can ever replace
The warmth of your tender embrace
Until the days that we’re together once more
I live in this memory
Until the days that we’re together once more”
I LOVE YOU MA.
Happy Mother’s Day!